Meet “The CRINGE" – China, Russia, Iran, North Korea & Global Extremism – the Most Terrifying National Security Threat of All Time and the Military-Industrial Complex's Wettest Dream

Freshly unveiled by Congressman Adam Smith (D-General Dynamics), the new quintet of global supervillains makes the Axis of Evil look like the moral equivalent of our founding fathers.

Top leaders of The Cringe pictured at a recent meeting in Pyongyang — absent Hamas, ISIS, and Al Qaeda terror chieftains who were making a fast run to the nearby “Express Half-Price Weapons Supermarket” — where they drew up plans for the alliance’s upcoming invasion of Washington. Photo credit: Screenshot of image by Fox News.

War is always bad for children and all living things, but it’s inevitably good – very, very good – for Merchants of Death, so the last few years have been pure joy for military contractors and weapons exporters. “Escalating tensions between China and the Philippines, the Russia-Ukraine war and conflicts in the Middle East boosted orders for US defense firms” and had champagne flowing in their executive suites, Reuters explained in a story published in January after General Dynamics reported $42.3 billion in total revenue and $3.3 billion in profits for 2023.

Total US weapons exports abroad reached $238 billion in 2023, setting a new single-season record, and General Dynamics sales during the last three months of the year were its highest ever for one quarter too. The good times have kept on rolling for the company  in 2024. At the close of trading Friday, a share of General Dynamics’s stock was selling for $304.73, which was nearly 50 percent than where it stood on January 1 and added more than $40 billion to the company’s market value

Generating all that beautiful money and sweet profits doesn’t just happen by magic, though, but requires greasing the proper parties in Washington to ensure the company wins the government contracts, subsidies, overseas weapons deals, and other benefits that are the main source of revenue that bloats the company’s bottom line. That’s why General Dynamics, and every other major defense and intelligence contractor in the country, understands that it’s mandatory to dispense especially generous campaign contributions to Democratic Congressman Adam Smith as a token of appreciation for past services rendered and a downpayment towards the price of his future assistance.

It’s not cheap to buy Smith, but few members of congress can deliver a bigger bang for the buck to their industry patrons. Smith has held a seat on the House Armed Services Committee since 1997, the year he was inaugurated to congress to represent Washington state. He was the Committee’s chairman from 2019 to 2023, when he became the ranking Democrat after Republicans took control of congress, and previously served on the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence and House Foreign Affairs Committee

Smith is a prominent leader of the "New Democrats," the party’s most rabidly pro-corporate wing. He’s also, quite amusingly, a member of the Democratic-affiliated Congressional Progressive Caucus, which says a lot more about the party than it does about Smith.

Ever since he entered the House, Smith has been a reliable “yea” when congress votes on bills to increase the Pentagon’s budget, fund new weapons programs, or pretty much anything else that enriches the War Lobby. He not only helps out on the supply side, but plays a key role on the demand side as well by taking the lead in manufacturing all the scary, non-existent threats to national security Smith and other defense hawks point to as the purported urgent reason to justify their latest raid on the federal treasury on behalf of the military-industrial complex.

With the combined budget for the Pentagon, CIA, and other military and intelligence agencies well beyond $1 trillion annually, it takes a great deal of creativity to find grounds to spend even more. Smith’s latest effort was a truly historic masterpiece of the art, which he announced four months ago when he alerted the nation to the emerging menace posed by “The CRINGE,” which had escaped unnoticed up until then but already held a dagger inches away from the nation’s private parts and was dangerously close to obtaining the cutting edge WMDs it needed to geld the United State’s global leadership testicles.

The CRINGE is far more terrifying than the “Axis of Evil” President George W. Bush’s then-speechwriter David Frum manufactured in 2002 to describe the unshakeable alliance between Iran, Iraq, and North Korea that forced the United States to overthrow Saddam Hussein and take his regime out of the equation. With Iraq liberated and well on the road to becoming a leader of the free world, Smith assembled The Cringe by mixing a recipe of Iran and North Korea, the two remaining rogue states from the Axis of Evil, stirring in China and Russia, the two long established evildoers best known to American audiences, and adding in a large splash of Global Extremism, which Hamas had the lead role in representing presently, but collectively encapsulated Al Qaeda, ISIS and other past Islamic terror groups from the past and all similarly irrational, darker-hued, freedom-hating organizations that lay ahead in the future.

The deadly brew produced by combining the names of the enemy alliance’s members didn’t merely form the acronym that Smith used when christening The Cringe, but the most violent, well-armed band of suicidal misfits ever unleashed in the universe since it was created by the Big Bang.

The quintet of supervillains who comprised “The CRINGE were “working together 100 percent,” the congressman warned when he unveiled it at the American Enterprise Institute, the neoconservative think tank that played a central role in building political support for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, during an event on May 7 where he was the star attraction. Their ultimate goal was to “smash” the existing “rules-based international order and replace it with an authoritarian model of government and development.” 

The CRINGE had brainwashed many South Americans and Africans into thinking US foreign policy wasn’t designed with their best interests in mind, and duped them into believing “everything bad that is happening is caused by us,” Smith warned. “We have got to figure out how to message about the threat” The CRINGE’s heavily financed propaganda operations were creating so it could be successfully countered with classic American made agitprop that would inoculate even more poor, ignorant, easily manipulated Third Worlders from being led astray by the enemy barrage of fake news and misinformation.

Congressman Smith shaking the hand that feeds him at a 2016 hearing on Capitol Hill. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons.

The top two individual beneficiaries of the defense industry’s largesse during the 2023 to 2024 election cycle thus far are Kamala Harris and Donald Trump, in that order. Combined outlays to the Democratic presidential nominee outpaced the total cash flow to her Republican opponent by a margin of $1.3 million to $821,000, according to data compiled by the indispensable nonpartisan watchdog group Open Secrets, whose figures are used throughout this story.

The partisan advantage pointed in the reverse direction with regard to the $10 million defense PACs and executives contributed to congressional candidates during the current cycle. About 60 percent of that amount was larded on Republicans and the remaining 40 percent was funneled to Democrats. 

Defense firms spend far more on Washington influence peddling operations – or government affairs, to use the preferred description of the corporate community, or lobbying and advocacy, as most news outlets call it – than they do on political donations. Combined industry spending for that purpose since 2023 hovers near $75 million, which paid for the services of a small army of 870 lobbyists.

About two-thirds of those lobbyists previously held public sector positions, which enhances their value to future clients in the defense business – and other industries as well – because it provides them with the best possible skills, knowledge, and training to extract federal cash by petitioning the friends they left behind when they bid farewell to depart for the private sector. 

Smith’s strenuous efforts to support the military-industrial complex on the political, economic, and ideological indoctrination battlefield has elicited a flood of contributions from defense firms and their grateful executives, who have filled the coffers of the congressman’s campaign coffers and American Defense and Military Leadership PAC with about $300,000 since January of 2023.  Only six members of congress collected more during that stretch, and Smith’s combined haul dwarfed what he collected from any other industry by a ratio greater than three-to-one. 

Four of Smith’s top five individual contributors were military contractors. General Dynamics, the country’s fifth biggest defense contractor, ponied up $32,000, landing it in third place behind drone manufacturer General Atomics, which came in second with $44,600 in contributions. Kratos Defense & Security Solutions was fourth with $25,000, and Blue Origin, the aerospace manufacturer founded by Amazon.com’s founder Jeff Bezos, was fifth with $21,100. Boeing, Northrop Grumman, and Lockheed Martin were lower on the roster of 2023 to 2024 donors, but they’re also among Smith’s most faithful core financial supporters, and rank third, fourth, and fifth on the list of his top career contributors.  

The American Israel Public Affairs Committee, Smith’s No. 1 supporter between January 1, 2023 and the present moment, kicked in the spectacular sum of $197,203 during the period. AIPAC, as the Committee is better known, was also the only non-defense industry entity on the Top Five list, but that’s a technical distinction. The seventh biggest federal PAC as measured by annual subsidies to political candidates, AIPAC is categorized as an interest group by Open Secrets, but it’s effectively an Israeli front group that underwrites candidates that offer devout support to the Israeli government and military.

AIPAC has dispensed even more money than usual lately to try to bolster US political support for Israel and prevent defections in congress due to the wave of crimes against humanity perpetrated by the Israeli regime during its ongoing genocidal campaign against Palestinians. AIPAC hadn’t been a leading donor to Smith before the 2023 to 2024 election cycle because his hawkish national security positions and complete absence of a moral conscience put  him fully in the tank for Israel by default. 

But since Smith has an extremely influential role in making US foreign policy and in the Democratic Party, which is more divided than the GOP in support for Israel, AIPAC shoveled in him the huge amount that took it to the top of the list of his most recent donors. It amounted to more than 90 percent of the $215,853 AIPAC has donated to Smith during his entire 33-year years in congress, and instantly vaulted him to No. 2 on the list of his all-time career donors.

A European subsidiary of General Dynamics is seeking approval to export ASCOD infantry fighting vehicles, pictured above, to Ukraine if the war against Russia continues, which corporate executives pray for twice daily. Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons.

General Dynamics doesn’t skimp in spending money to purchase political help in Washington. The $32,000 in campaign cash it sent to Smith was part of a total of $958,500 it distributed to elected officials and candidates between 2023 and 2024 to date. The company spent $29 on lobbying during the period. 

The Washington revolving door has shuffled at least 16 of Smith’s former senior staffers from his office to influence peddling work for military contractors, either directly at the companies in-house advocacy departments or indirectly as hired guns defense industry clients hired to represent through the lobbying outfits they went on to work for after leaving Capitol Hill to join the private sector. Smith’s alumni have represented numerous defense firms, including BAE Systems, Boeing, Booz Allen Hamilton, Northrop Grumman, and Raytheon Technologies. Those companies have contributed to Smith’s political committees over the years and most of his former staffers who lobbied for them have chipped in to support him as well.

To ensure it maximizes its return on investment in Smith, General Dynamics hired Shana Chandler, who worked for the congressman for 25 years and developed an especially close relationship with her old boss. Chandler’s career in national politics began when Smith hired her to be his Executive Assistant in 1997, the year he took office for his first term. She steadily worked her way up through the ranks over the following decade and became the congressman’s Chief of Staff. 

Chandler held that position until she resigned from his staff in May of 2022. “Shana has led our office with integrity, ambition, and relentless commitment,” Smith said at the time. “I am eternally grateful for the contributions she has made to our office, our district, and our country.” 

The following month, Chandler began work in General Dynamics’s Washington lobbying office, where she has the title of Director of Government Relations. She made an additional small contribution to Smith’s office since joining the company two years ago by donating $2,000 to his campaign treasury.

Chandler sent $4,000 more to Democrats who hold seats along with Smith on the House Armed Services Committee, and party members on the House Appropriations Defense Subcommittee, the House Aerospace Caucus, and the Senate Armed Services Committee. She added almost another $10,000 to General Dynamics’s company PAC, from where it was strategically distributed, along with the rest of the money contributed by her corporate colleagues, to elected officials around town, including Smith.

General Dynamics’s lobbying disclosure filings provide scant details about Chandler’s specific activities, such as the names of government officials she meets with in the course of performing her corporate duties. However, the filings show she’s worked on a variety of national security-related matters that Smith has jurisdiction over from his perch at the the House Armed Services Committee, which no doubt provides good value to her current employer.

In addition to members of both houses of congress, Chandler has lobbied officials at the CIA, Pentagon, Army, Navy, Air Force, Joint Chiefs of Staff, and Homeland Security to chase dollars for General Dynamics’s combat vehicle, attack submarine, aircraft, and air defense system projects. She’s also lobbied on intelligence matters, though the disclosure filings don’t actually disclose anything other than that the goal of Chandler’s work was to secure “funding related to classified programs.”

Smith has always been a good friend to General Dynamics, so hiring Chandler is unlikely to have spurred him to become wildly more attentive to the company’s desires. It certainly wouldn’t have done anything to diminish his exertions either, and Chandler’s long and friendly relationship with her ex-boss just as surely provides her with easier access to him than other defense industry lobbyists, and correspondingly more time to casually swap ideas with him about his views on matters that are important to General Dynamics, such as the balance of forces in congress on key upcoming votes. Those types of advantages make Chandler more effective in lobbying other lawmakers and their staffs and generally increases the company’s ability to get what it wants in Washington. 

Iraqis were still greeting American troops as liberators in 2006, three years after the US invasion, and they continue to today. If The Cringe’s military forces invade Washington as Congressman Smith fears, will they also be welcomed with open arms? Photo credit: Wikimedia Commons.

Whatever combination of concrete and intangible blandishments General Dynamics provides to Smith has made him an invaluable ally. He began urging the Biden administration to ship vast amounts of US-made weapons to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s government within months of Russia’s invasion in February of 2022, when he still chaired the House Armed Services Committee. That was idiotic even from the perspective of Ukraine’s most ardent supporters because what the country most needed wasn’t the wildly overpriced equipment manufactured by his political sponsors, but cheaper materiel it could easily obtain from other countries and suppliers. 

Needless to say, that was never on the table in Washington. Since the war began in early-2022 through mid-2024, the Biden administration and congress have approved an estimated $57 billion worth of weapons shipments to Kiev and General Dynamics has reaped enormous rewards as a result. “As the conflicts in Ukraine and other regions persist, military and defense stocks are among the few beneficiaries,” Investor’s Business Daily  reported earlier this month. “IBD's Defense and Aerospace industry group is hot...Of the 71 stocks in the group, General Dynamics is the top-ranked, with a perfect IBD Composite Rating of 99.”

Smith goes above and beyond championing the wars that boost sales of weapons made by General Dynamics along with those of the other weapons contractors who retain him to be their political errand boy, and pimps the company’s specific products as well. During the event last May at the American Enterprise Institute when he wheeled out The Cringe for its official debut, Smith said it was urgent that the Navy seek funding to buy two submarines made by General Dynamics Electric Boat, a corporate subsidiary, according to an account in US Naval Institute News. “Attack subs are really important to our defense,” he whined They apparently weren’t important enough in the Navy’s opinion to buy more than one, the story noted, but the congressman asserted picking up another one was essential to signal the need to General Dynamics and its subcontractors on the program to maintain sufficient production capacity. 

A commenter at the US Naval Institute News website found wasn’t persuaded by Smith’s logic. “If they say they can't deliver more than one sub a year without guaranteed business for the next several decades, then they are simply lying through their teeth,” he wrote. “Too much of the defense budget is being used to fatten shareholder wallets and CEO salaries...You cannot put the safety of your entire country in the hands of for-profit companies unless you're prepared to trade democracy for plutarchy.”

For Smith, though, that’s a fair tradeoff because it keeps the flow of money streaming to his political backers in the defense industry, and ensures a steady stream heads back in his direction. And so it was that General Dynamics Electric Boat issued a press release on August 5 to announce the Pentagon had awarded it a $1.3 billion “contract modification” so it could “purchase long lead time materials” for its submarines. 

"This contract modification sends a crucial demand signal, enabling our suppliers to invest in the capacity and materials needed to increase production volume," said the subsidiary’s President Kevin Graney, almost as if he were quoting Smith’s words at the American Enterprise Institute three months earlier or, possibly, the congressman and General Dynamics jointly prepare the company’s press releases. 

The unfathomable, ever increasing sums of money the US spends for military purposes has been so stupidly allocated for so long – and the majority of it unnecessarily appropriated to begin with – due to the political-military- business model of legalized corporate bribery favored by Smith, General Dynamics, and the broader military-industrial complex, that the country’s national security position becomes weaker rather than stronger with every dollar added to the pile. 

Hence, if Smith’s ultimate nightmare scenario unfolds in the future and The CRINGE attempts to overthrow the American government, it may turn out to be a cakewalk for the alliance’s military forces, and they’re able to seize control of Washington without a shot being fired because they’re greeted by the citizenry as liberators with sweets and flowers.